Vista – Screwing Up A Wet Dream.

OK, it’s a crude analogy, but the reality is that the power of sexual release during an erotic dream is intense, nearing perfection and only the lucky or skilled will achieved it in real life. When you envision the Microsoft Solitaire game, it is a near perfect addition for the compulsive personality. Billions of man hours globally have been wasted by everyone form casual players to the addicted.

Professionals in the gaming industry had been predicting a decade ago that solitaire was Bill Gates entry to legalized Internet gaming. I mean who wouldn’t play this addictive game for a penny a point or even a tenth of a cent. Multiply that micro-payment times billions of games by billions of players and the man could give you the operating system for free and make it up in gaming revenue.

Imagine how perfectly secure and bug free this system would be. I mean anything that damaged your security or time online would damage this endless money machine for Microsoft. There would simply be no downtime because it would disrupt the game.

So now we have this perfectly mindless game that everybody would play and occasionally gamble on and what happens? Bush bans credit card transactions for gaming debts and Vista destroys the best part of Windows that remained pretty much untouched since the first Windows I can recall which was 3.1.

For starters, I couldn’t even play the game on Vista until I reinstalled the Video Driver that Vista had eaten on installation without warning me about “incompatibility issues”

Then much to my horrors all of the features which made the game so additive were gone. There are now blinkie little halos around cards that you mouse over even when you are dragging a card to its correct position. This served to break you out of that classic solitaire trance which allowed mindless play.

Another new device that destroys mindless play is that a right click does not send all the cards to the top. It is sort of a meaningless device. At the end of a winning card game, you must either click the card you want to move to the top or physically click and drag it to the proper location. There is no obvious instant way to end the game while winning.

The next new item that breaks the solitaire trance is that you cannot start a new game by clicking on deal and a new game instantly popping up. Now there is a warning that starting a new game will cause the losses in the current game to be counted against you and then you have to express your consent to continue (losing).

All and all, Vista brings the end to the perfectly mindless solitaire era. I know some die hard Vista fans will mindlessly applaud this change, but I prefer to exercise my constitutional right to freedom of choice and occasionally engage in totally worthless and mindless behavior. I was one of billions who were looking forward to actually betting on secure and functional Las Vegas solitaire because I knew in my heart, it would have brought with it a secure and very stable Windows operating system that would have made e-mail and e-commerce secure for the whole nation.

Now alas, there is no reason for Microsoft to ever deliver more than a tolerable mediocre product. My last hope is that I will not resort to Prozac as I wean myself from the solitaire addiction when my last XP machine dies.

Advertisements

2 Responses to “Vista – Screwing Up A Wet Dream.”

  1. Vista - More Lost Tools! « Tickling the Tiger’s Tail Says:

    […] I am back to an inferior XP clone and some programs just don’t work. As previously discussed, the new improved solitaire sucks so my enjoyment is reduced but at least their is an offsetting saving of wasted […]

  2. Peter Laurie Says:

    I’m running the old style Solitaire (v5.1 SP 2) and I have the feeling it’s been twiddled so it starts easier. There’s almost always 4 moves that can be made off the opening hand. Didn’t used to be like that. Used to be a man’s game.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: